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Affirmations: How A Sticky Note Can Help You Achieve Your Goals

Judy O'Donnell • May 8, 2020

What is an affirmation?

Affirmations are phrases that are either repeated or posted in prominent places for the user to see. Sometimes they are just trite positive sayings, but other times they are a significant goal that is personal to the user. They are meant to be encouraging.

Affirmations can be useful when used correctly, but most often they are just wishful thinking. You can write “I am a marathon runner” on sticky notes and put them up all over your home, but that will not make you a marathon runner. It will not strengthen your legs, your lungs, or your endurance. But there are four ways that affirmations can be useful.


  1. Affirmations can open your mind to the possibility of achieving your goal
  2. Affirmations can help you visualize your goal
  3. Affirmations can remind you of your goal
  4. Affirmations can motivate you to work towards your goal

Many affirmations will have all four of these elements. Others may only have some, or have all the elements but have a strong emphasis on one element. Your affirmations should emphasize the aspects that will help you the most.

1. Affirmations can open your mind to the possibility of achieving your goal

Affirmations can help your mind stop saying “I can’t do that!” We tend to believe what we read, and with the use of affirmations we can gradually begin to accept our goal as something we will achieve. Ever get upset because something bad happened to a character in a book you were reading? Or excitedly race through an action-packed novel? Or eagerly anticipate the solution to a mystery? Those words you read became real enough to get an emotional response from you, even though you knew it was just a story. Your affirmation can become just as real to you by reading it regularly.

2. Affirmations can help you visualize your goal

Affirmations can help you visualize yourself successfully doing whatever your affirmation is about. If you can start seeing yourself as capably performing whatever your affirmation is about, then you can work towards it with the belief of future success. It is much easier to work towards something you believe you can achieve than towards something when you have no inner hope of success.

Every time you see your affirmation about becoming a marathon runner, you should mentally picture yourself making the run, crossing the finish line, and feeling the emotions of achieving your goal. Is your affirmation about giving a successful presentation or musical performance? Then see yourself performing beautifully, accepting applause at the end and enjoying the feelings of having given an amazing performance. This visualization work helps it feel real, and the more real it feels, the more your mind will believe in the possibility of achieving your goal.

Perhaps your affirmation is somewhat vague, such as “I can handle difficult situations” or “I can remain calm and walk away from an argument”. You will need visualization practice to see yourself handling difficult situations or leaving an argument if you want to really achieve this goal - hopefully you won’t have enough practice time in real life! (For more information on how to visualize, please read our article “Imagery: Improve your Skills and Confidence without Breaking a Sweat”.)

3. Affirmations can remind you of your goal

When you see your affirmation, it will remind you to put some work in towards your goal. Dieters often put a note on the refrigerator to remind them not to eat the wrong foods. Seeing your affirmation on the mirror first thing in the morning will get you thinking about what you will do on this day towards achieving your goal. Seeing your affirmation the last thing at night will help you mentally review what you actually did that day to work towards your goal and celebrate your success, no matter how small. This is not the time to scold yourself for not working towards your goal, however – if you did nothing or even had a setback, then make a plan for what you will do the next day to make progress towards your affirmation goal.

4. Affirmations can motivate you to work toward your goals

Seeing your affirmation posted all over can motivate you to work to make it reality. If your affirmation is about getting fit, when you reach out to hit the snooze button on your alarm but see (or feel) your affirmation over it, you become more motivated to get up and do those exercises. When you get in your car after work feeling worn out from the day and see that affirmation on the dash, it can be the difference between driving home to lie on the sofa or driving to the gym.

Affirmations can also include your “why” – your reason for working on this particular affirmation. Instead of just saying “I can walk away from an argument” you might say “I can walk away from an argument so I will have a happier family life” to give you the motivation to do it. This makes for a longer affirmation, and for many people the shorter version will be enough, but add more if it helps you.

Finding the right affirmation for you

If you cannot believe your affirmation even a little bit, it is not the right affirmation for you. If you cannot see yourself at all performing the way your affirmation reads, you need to change it. If you do not know why you want to make this affirmation part of your reality, it’s not right for you. “I want to be healthy” is no good if you don’t really care about being healthy - you won’t choose to get enough sleep or eat right or exercise if you don’t have a reason behind it. You need an affirmation that you are willing to work towards, not magically expect it to happen without effort or belief.

Affirmations do not always have to be big, broad goals. A piano student who wanted to learn a piece of music that was far beyond her current skill level simply could not make herself believe it was possible. So she used the affirmation “I can learn one new measure every day” because that, to her, was believable. She often exceeded that small goal and did, in fact, learn to play the entire piece beautifully.

If you have trouble seeing the big end goal, use affirmations that will take you there bit by bit. Want to run a marathon but are just starting out? Then use affirmations for smaller goals – I can run a 5K, I can run a 10K, I can run a half-marathon, I can run a marathon. Write all four on sticky notes and stack them with the 5K the visible one on top. Once that is achieved, pull off that affirmation to see the 10K one, and when that is achieved, pull it off to see the next and so on. That way you can really feel your progress towards the ultimate goal you know is on the bottom of the stack. It is often easier to believe that you can lose two pounds than that you can lose 100 pounds. Break big affirmation goals into smaller ones to build in success and thus increase your belief that you can accomplish whatever you are setting out to do with your affirmation. (For more on goal setting, read our article “The Three Tiers of Goals Needed for Success”.)

Affirmations should be written in a positive way. Writing what you want rather than what you don’t want works much better. “I am strong and fit” is far better than “I am not weak”. Which tense you use depends on your ability to believe. If you know you are out of shape and you want to do something about it, it’s up to you to choose an affirmation you can believe in. Perhaps “I am strong and fit” feels laughable to you. What about “I can be strong and fit” – perhaps that is something your mind can agree is a possibility. Or go somewhere in between with “I will be strong and fit” which adds some determination to your affirmation. Perhaps “I get stronger and fitter every day” helps motivate you more. Every person is different. You must find the words that work best for you. Try one for a few days and see if it has the right effect on you. If it draws the wrong response from your mind, then alter your affirmation in some way.

How to use affirmations

Write your affirmation on sticky notes and post them in key places that you spend time. The bathroom mirror, on your bedside table where you’ll see it the first thing when you get up in the morning and the last thing when you lie down at night, on your car dashboard (don’t read it while driving!), on the inside of the door to your home, by your computer, on your treadmill control panel, on your cell phone – wherever you will see it regularly.

Beside posting your affirmation all over, you can simply repeat it to yourself in times of need. When things get challenging, repeating your affirmation to yourself can both inspire you and remind you that it really is possible to do what you have set yourself to do.

When you look at your affirmation at the end of the day and review your progress, be sure to make some plans for how you will work towards it again the following day. Choose an action and a time to do it. Set yourself up for success.

Affirmations can be a useful tool in your quest for accomplishment. However, you cannot just wish yourself into playing a piece of music perfectly, giving an outstanding presentation, or winning a competition. You must put in the hours of practice to get good at it in order to perform well. Many people wish to be an Olympian, but only those willing to put in the time and effort will have a chance of becoming one. Affirmations are not a magic pill that will make you achieve your goal. They can, however, be a useful step in the process.

By Judy O'Donnell February 17, 2019
Imagery, or visualization training, is a powerful tool to help you improve your performance. Imagery is not just daydreaming; it is careful and controlled mental rehearsal. While daydreaming involves imagery, you can also deliberately practice with it. With imagery, you visualize yourself performing successfully with many repetitions in great detail. Imagery can be used in many different ways: 1. To practice skills and reinforce learning : As you write in your training journal after practices or competitions, visualize what you did to reinforce it. As you go to sleep at night, use imagery to review what you worked on that day. 2. To g et used to performing : Athletes use imagery to see themselves competing, starting from arrival at the competition through the end of the day. Include warming up, feeling your adrenaline, feeling your nerves, settling your nerves, competing hard, and seeing the results of your success. In your professional life, you might see yourself entering a room full of people, walking confidently to the front of the room, giving your presentation, and answering questions calmly and knowledgeably. Musicians can see themselves walking on stage, settling in to their instrument, feeling the music and playing better than ever before. 3. To adjust energy levels: Using different imagery can calm you down or get you going. To adjust energy level upwards, one of my students liked to imagine stoking the fire in a steam engine train. When I was competing, I would visualize a sort of wishing well beside me that was filled with liquid energy, the color and texture of honey, that I could dip into with my hand whenever I needed more. Others like to visualize an enormous ocean wave crashing against the shore, an erupting volcano, or anything powerful. To calm down, you can think of a relaxing place. Perhaps you are lying on a fluffy white towel on the warm sand at the beach. You feel the warmth of the sunshine on your body. A palm tree sways lightly in the gentle breeze nearby. The sky is clear and a beautiful shade of blue. You hear the waves lapping gently on the shore and smell the fresh, ocean air. 4. To get the mind ready during pre-performance time: Use imagery to see what you intend to do that day – see yourself competing or performing well. Fencers might see themselves scoring great touches, controlling the distance, controlling the bout – anything that is particularly important for you to focus on that day. Musicians might see themselves controlling their breathing, the shape of their phrases, moving their fingers with agility, maintaining their tempo, or whatever they feel it is most important to focus on when they perform. 5. To refocus Part of refocusing after something goes wrong is to see yourself executing the action successfully. Imagery can help you let go of what just happened and set you on the right path for what comes next. 6. To practice when it’s not physically possible: Maybe you are traveling, injured, or ill and cannot train normally. Or maybe you need a training partner and nobody else shows up that day. Or maybe you are the best in your region and you need to train against tougher opponents. When you do imagery well, you are just under the level of actually firing the muscles, and you are getting much of the benefits of actually performing the actions. 7. To motivate by seeing images of goals and by seeing success : When you feel like you’re in a slump, or just not making the progress you want, or you’re tired of working so hard every day, it helps to motivate yourself by using imagery to feel what achieving your goal will be like. How will it feel to shake hands and see the respect in the eyes of your opponent? How will it feel to hear your teammates cheering wildly or to hear you coach tell you how much your hard work has paid off? How will it feel to be on that medal stand? These images can help motivate you to keep working hard. Let’s face it, not all training is fun if your goals are lofty.
By Judy O'Donnell November 29, 2018
We communicate to ourselves all the time. We analyze, we respond or react, we express our feelings to ourselves with our thoughts. We do a lot of self-talk – up to 300 words per minute. Much is normal thoughts – “I’ll do the laundry when I get home” or “I need to answer that e-mail” or “I should call my mother.” But there is a lot of negative self-talk – both obvious criticisms “I’m terrible at this” or the less obvious “I never know what to do” or “I’m nervous when I perform” or “I panic at critical moments.” Negative self-talk affects our confidence and our self-image. If your self-image is one of incompetence, inferiority, anxiety, or failure, you are not likely to produce a stellar performance, and you will lack confidence. Proper self-talk will help both your overall confidence and your performance. Self-talk should be either positive or constructive. We easily yell at ourselves for mistakes, but when was the last time you told yourself you did something well right after you did it? At the end of the day, we tend to dwell on our mistakes, but instead we should pay more attention to the things we do right. Reminding yourself regularly of what you’ve done well helps boost your self-image and confidence. Self-talk is often negative. What do you say to yourself now if something goes wrong? If you are like most people, you yell at yourself in ways you would never speak to anyone else. You might call yourself names, put yourself down, and reinforce that you “can’t” do it. Maybe you allow yourself to get frustrated, and start rushing, using poor technique and basically throwing away your abilities in order to match your self-image of failure. Negative thoughts prevent you from performing well. In sports, they serve no one but your opponent. Positive self-talk is key. There should be no name-calling, or putting yourself down. Treat yourself as you would a little, vulnerable child. If he made a mistake, would you chew him out? Or would you tell him it’s okay, and help him find a way to do it better?
By Judy O'Donnell September 3, 2018
Nervousness and tension come primarily from two things: perceived importance and uncertainty of the outcome . Perceived importance is how important the outcome is to you. Back when I was a collegiate fencer, I would get terribly nervous before any dual meet. Since my team wasn’t very strong, I knew that if I didn’t win all of my bouts, my team would probably lose. I felt the pressure of needing success for both myself and my team. When I started competing in local United States Fencing Association competitions, I still felt a lot of pressure. Later, as a world cup competitor, I considered local tournaments just part of my training, and wouldn’t be nervous at them. The importance that you personally give an event is the perceived importance. The same event may be a big deal for one competitor and not at all important for someone else. If you are playing against a six-year old in practice, you probably don’t perceive the outcome as important (you might even let the little guy win) and you have no uncertainty of the outcome - you either beat him or let him win, but you know it’s up to you. Likewise, if you are competing against the world champion, given your current skill level, you have a pretty clear idea of the probable outcome, so you don’t get so tense and just enjoy the experience while admiring your opponent’s skill. But what happens when you are competing against someone who is your equal? Now the outcome is uncertain. And now, how does it feel when you know that you have to win this in order to qualify for nationals? Or to achieve whatever your goal is? The importance level rises. Significantly. So now you have both uncertainty of the outcome and a high perceived importance, and suddenly you are feeling a lot of tension. You need relaxation training. What will relaxation training do? It relieves stress, and trains you to be able to reduce your stress during times of great pressure. Relaxation training helps you use your conscious mind to control the state of your muscles, so your body can perform its best. Tension flows between the body and the brain; when your muscles are relaxed, your mind can be more relaxed and think clearly. There are many methods of relaxation training. My personal favorite is progressive relaxation training, because I have found it to be the most effective for my students. In progressive relaxation training, you tense and relax muscles systematically, training them to respond to a cue word. The muscles learn what they should feel like when you tell them to be relaxed with your cue word. In this case we will use the word “loose”. (I don’t recommend using the word “relax” because we tend to associate it more with tension than with real relaxation.) If you do this on your own, you can choose whatever cue word your mind associates with true relaxation. How do you do progressive relaxation training ? You will tense various muscles and then relax them when you say your cue word. This trains the muscles to go to a truly relaxed state when you hear your cue word. Tighten the muscles, but don’t put yourself in agony. Tense and release each muscle segment twice before moving on to the next.
By Judy O'Donnell August 21, 2018
What do you want to achieve ? In sports, outcome goals are things like “I want to win a local tournament this season,” or “I want to make the US team.” In life, they can be things like “I want to get promoted” or “I want to perform flawlessly at my next concert” or “I want to make the honor roll at school.” Outcome goals are rarely entirely within your control, so they can be a little scary to set. You may want to win a local tournament, but if the Olympic team shows up that day, you likely won’t make that goal. However, an outcome goal needs to be a goal, not a given. Something that will not be easy to achieve. The main purpose of an outcome goal is to motivate you to work hard at your proficiency and your training goals.
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