Affirmations are phrases that are either repeated or posted in prominent places for the user to see. Sometimes they are just trite positive sayings, but other times they are a significant goal that is personal to the user. They are meant to be encouraging.
Affirmations can be useful when used correctly, but most often they are just wishful thinking. You can write “I am a marathon runner” on sticky notes and put them up all over your home, but that will not make you a marathon runner. It will not strengthen your legs, your lungs, or your endurance. But there are four ways that affirmations can be useful.
Many affirmations will have all four of these elements. Others may only have some, or have all the elements but have a strong emphasis on one element. Your affirmations should emphasize the aspects that will help you the most.
Affirmations can help your mind stop saying “I can’t do that!” We tend to believe what we read, and with the use of affirmations we can gradually begin to accept our goal as something we will achieve. Ever get upset because something bad happened to a character in a book you were reading? Or excitedly race through an action-packed novel? Or eagerly anticipate the solution to a mystery? Those words you read became real enough to get an emotional response from you, even though you knew it was just a story. Your affirmation can become just as real to you by reading it regularly.
Affirmations can help you visualize yourself successfully doing whatever your affirmation is about. If you can start seeing yourself as capably performing whatever your affirmation is about, then you can work towards it with the belief of future success. It is much easier to work towards something you believe you can achieve than towards something when you have no inner hope of success.
Every time you see your affirmation about becoming a marathon runner, you should mentally picture yourself making the run, crossing the finish line, and feeling the emotions of achieving your goal. Is your affirmation about giving a successful presentation or musical performance? Then see yourself performing beautifully, accepting applause at the end and enjoying the feelings of having given an amazing performance. This visualization work helps it feel real, and the more real it feels, the more your mind will believe in the possibility of achieving your goal.
Perhaps your affirmation is somewhat vague, such as “I can handle difficult situations” or “I can remain calm and walk away from an argument”. You will need visualization practice to see yourself handling difficult situations or leaving an argument if you want to really achieve this goal - hopefully you won’t have enough practice time in real life! (For more information on how to visualize, please read our article “Imagery: Improve your Skills and Confidence without Breaking a Sweat”.)
When you see your affirmation, it will remind you to put some work in towards your goal. Dieters often put a note on the refrigerator to remind them not to eat the wrong foods. Seeing your affirmation on the mirror first thing in the morning will get you thinking about what you will do on this day towards achieving your goal. Seeing your affirmation the last thing at night will help you mentally review what you actually did that day to work towards your goal and celebrate your success, no matter how small. This is not the time to scold yourself for not working towards your goal, however – if you did nothing or even had a setback, then make a plan for what you will do the next day to make progress towards your affirmation goal.
Seeing your affirmation posted all over can motivate you to work to make it reality. If your affirmation is about getting fit, when you reach out to hit the snooze button on your alarm but see (or feel) your affirmation over it, you become more motivated to get up and do those exercises. When you get in your car after work feeling worn out from the day and see that affirmation on the dash, it can be the difference between driving home to lie on the sofa or driving to the gym.
Affirmations can also include your “why” – your reason for working on this particular affirmation. Instead of just saying “I can walk away from an argument” you might say “I can walk away from an argument so I will have a happier family life” to give you the motivation to do it. This makes for a longer affirmation, and for many people the shorter version will be enough, but add more if it helps you.
If you cannot believe your affirmation even a little bit, it is not the right affirmation for you. If you cannot see yourself at all performing the way your affirmation reads, you need to change it. If you do not know why you want to make this affirmation part of your reality, it’s not right for you. “I want to be healthy” is no good if you don’t really care about being healthy - you won’t choose to get enough sleep or eat right or exercise if you don’t have a reason behind it. You need an affirmation that you are willing to work towards, not magically expect it to happen without effort or belief.
Affirmations do not always have to be big, broad goals. A piano student who wanted to learn a piece of music that was far beyond her current skill level simply could not make herself believe it was possible. So she used the affirmation “I can learn one new measure every day” because that, to her, was believable. She often exceeded that small goal and did, in fact, learn to play the entire piece beautifully.
If you have trouble seeing the big end goal, use affirmations that will take you there bit by bit. Want to run a marathon but are just starting out? Then use affirmations for smaller goals – I can run a 5K, I can run a 10K, I can run a half-marathon, I can run a marathon. Write all four on sticky notes and stack them with the 5K the visible one on top. Once that is achieved, pull off that affirmation to see the 10K one, and when that is achieved, pull it off to see the next and so on. That way you can really feel your progress towards the ultimate goal you know is on the bottom of the stack. It is often easier to believe that you can lose two pounds than that you can lose 100 pounds. Break big affirmation goals into smaller ones to build in success and thus increase your belief that you can accomplish whatever you are setting out to do with your affirmation. (For more on goal setting, read our article “The Three Tiers of Goals Needed for Success”.)
Affirmations should be written in a positive way. Writing what you want rather than what you don’t want works much better. “I am strong and fit” is far better than “I am not weak”. Which tense you use depends on your ability to believe. If you know you are out of shape and you want to do something about it, it’s up to you to choose an affirmation you can believe in. Perhaps “I am strong and fit” feels laughable to you. What about “I can be strong and fit” – perhaps that is something your mind can agree is a possibility. Or go somewhere in between with “I will be strong and fit” which adds some determination to your affirmation. Perhaps “I get stronger and fitter every day” helps motivate you more. Every person is different. You must find the words that work best for you. Try one for a few days and see if it has the right effect on you. If it draws the wrong response from your mind, then alter your affirmation in some way.
Write your affirmation on sticky
notes and post them in key places that you spend time. The bathroom mirror, on
your bedside table where you’ll see it the first thing when you get up in the
morning and the last thing when you lie down at night, on your car dashboard
(don’t read it while driving!), on the inside of the door to your home, by your
computer, on your treadmill control panel, on your cell phone – wherever you
will see it regularly.
Beside posting your affirmation all over, you can simply repeat it to yourself in times of need. When things get challenging, repeating your affirmation to yourself can both inspire you and remind you that it really is possible to do what you have set yourself to do.
When you look at your affirmation at the end of the day and review your progress, be sure to make some plans for how you will work towards it again the following day. Choose an action and a time to do it. Set yourself up for success.
Affirmations can be a useful tool in your quest for accomplishment. However, you cannot just wish yourself into playing a piece of music perfectly, giving an outstanding presentation, or winning a competition. You must put in the hours of practice to get good at it in order to perform well. Many people wish to be an Olympian, but only those willing to put in the time and effort will have a chance of becoming one. Affirmations are not a magic pill that will make you achieve your goal. They can, however, be a useful step in the process.